On behalf of the free watchers on YouTube, I thank you for making your movies available for free.
I commend you for the improvement you have made so far, from the era of ‘Yemi my lover’ and his 2-inch mermaid, using tomato for blood with all the seeds in full view. You have really come a long way.
I see that ghosts in your movies don’t look left and right before crossing the road anymore, but I still have a few observations:
1. Gatemen do not have to be stupid to be funny.
2. Everyone in a scene does not have to talk. Ogogo will be advising someone saying, “èèyàn ma ń kọ jú sí ìwé ẹ̀ ni”. Lola Idije, most probably his wife will repeat, “òótọ́ ni daddy sọ fún ẹ o, èèyàn ma ń kọ jú sí ìwé ẹ̀ ni”. The uncle that is present, (maybe Olaiya) will reecho, “ kò kúkú sí’rọ́ ńbẹ̀, èèyàn ma ń kọ jú sí ìwé ẹ̀ ni”. Then the one being advised will summarize, “Daddy, mummy, uncle, mo gbọ́ gbogbo ohun tẹ́ẹ wi, èèyàn ma ń kọ jú sí ìwé ẹ̀ ni, mo ma kọ jú sí ìwé mi”. Please spare us all that.
3. What is it with you guys and nightclubs? You show us some useless nightclub scenes where the dance and the music won’t sync. You waste 10 minutes doing so.
4. We get it that your stories cannot last more than 30 minutes most of the time, so you have to stretch it. Don’t bother, we will manage the 30 minutes like that!
5. Your sex scenes suck. No one in real life says, ‘gbogbo eré to bá mi ṣe yẹn bad gan ni’ or “ màá ba yín ṣe gbogbo eré”. Ta lo l’eré òṣí? Ain’t nobody got no time for that when they want to have sex.
6. If you want to make your movies in English, do so, if it is Yoruba, do so. Whatever you do, acting is supposed to be make-believe that reflects how we talk in real life.
7. Those Onisegun or Babalawo scenes… It makes one want to curse the director! Where the heck did you get the idea of those white-red-black backgrounds from? They are so unreal. There is no onisegun’s house that is like that in real life.
8. Why do you tell use stories inside stories, inside stories? Also remember, winning a contract is not the only way to get rich.
9. We really don’t care about you rich sponsors you namedrop in your movies.
10. When you speak English, speak normally. Fake accents are so easy to detect. And tell Odunlade to stop talking about his height at every opportunity, we already know he’s tall.
Thank you very much.
Your Number One Fan,